Frequently asked questions
What is a cuckold couple?
As you may have seen from the dictionary definition, traditionally a cuckold is a husband with a wife who is physically unfaithful to him usually without his knowledge. However, in modern usage, it has come to mean the sexual fetish where the male partner allows the female to have sexual intercourse with another male whilst remaining faithful himself. Both partners receive gratification from this and it is sometimes referred to as the cuckold lifestyle.
The extent to which a couple incorporate cuckolding into their marriage is naturally their personal preference. It may range from occasional meetings with a man away from her husband through to a regular lover who visits the couple at their home.
Often a couple will progress into more serious cuckolding when they find they enjoy the lifestyle.
It is not a necessary element of cuckolding that the husband is present whilst his wife has sex, nor that he suffers humiliation. Nor is cuckolding necessarily interracial.
Why does my husband want me to cuckold him?
If your husband has recently suggested you make him a cuckold your reaction could range from surprise to horrified outrage depending on how receptive you are to sexual experimentation. A common reaction from a wife is that her husband has lost interest in her and is offering her the freedom to look outside the marriage in return for receiving the same privilege. She may suspect his desire to involve a third party man is an indication of homosexual leanings.
The truth is that many men want a wife who is sexually dominant and enjoy the fact that other men are attracted to her. Your husband wants you to enjoy your sexuality and his cuckolding fills him with a sense of fulfilment.
What is a hotwife?
A hotwife is the female half of a cuckold couple though some consider "hotwifing" to be the first step to a true cuckolding relationship. Hotwives are allowed by their husbands to meet other men on dates etc and have intercourse. This definition is slightly fluid and many women prefer the term cuckoldress.
What is a bull?
The wife's lover, chosen to take over her husband's sexual role in their marriage. The term "bull" denotes his superior sexual prowess. Many people dislike the term and "lover", "boyfriend", "stud" and "guest male" are often used instead.
A good bull will be a couple's guide and mentor into the world of cuckoldry and aid their development as a cuckold couple. Naturally he has his own motivations and enjoying the wife is probably top of the list but he will be mindful of the cuckold and his humiliating position. The amount and type of abuse the cuckold receives can range from none to extreme and is something a good bull will agree with the couple well before they reach the bedroom.
You won't be surprised that most bulls are extremely well equipped for their role but there are men who are normal size. Mental attitude is all important, the bull is normally expected to take charge of proceedings. Nobody wants a bull who needs to ask what to do!
Is it basically a MMF threesome?
Yes but with important differences, whereas normally the guest male might take an equal or subordinate role to the husband, in a cuckold setting the husband takes the subordinate role to the extent that he might have no involvement and certainly none unless invited.
How big a part does the humiliation of the cuckold play?
As much of a part as you decide to let it play but it is implicit that the cuckold is not providing the sex that his wife requires. She prefers her bull to her husband and often makes him watch as she receives the sex she craves. Some couples carry the cuckold's humiliation to extremes and for them it is an essential part of the cuckolding lifestyle. Others view the cuckold as enlightened for unselfishly allowing her to experience pleasure from a superior performer.
Humiliation of the cuckold, apart from verbal abuse, can involve forced feminisation - making him wear female clothes such as panties and stockings. Some cuckolds are made to wear chastity devices such as a plastic or metal cage around his penis to prevent any sexual use.
What involvement does the cuckold have in proceedings?
The non-participation of the cuckold husband is considered an essential element by some, even to the extent he may not be in the same room. Normally he keeps quiet and watches, only actively taking part if invited by the wife (not the other man). Though the cuckold will not penetrate his wife allowing him to perform cunnilingus after the bull has finished is very popular, often referred to as "cleaning". Cuckolds are often allowed to masturbate while they watch their wives have sex, some wives will not even allow their husbands this relief! Generally the husband derives his pleasure from his wife's enjoyment. Picture taking for a lasting memento is also popular, as is making home movies!
What sort of men become bulls?
They tend to be very well endowed, highly competent sexual performers with a dominant streak. Younger men who enjoy mature women will find they are very popular though couples may prefer men their own age. On the other hand some younger couples prefer a dominant older man to guide them. A good bull needs, above all else, to have a good understanding of cuckolding.
They find the scenario of satisfying a demanding wife in front of an inadequate husband a turn-on. It isn't unusual for wives to become very attached indeed to their bulls. Sometimes bulls even move into the marital home and sleep in the marital bed.
Does it involve multiple partners?
Some couples prefer a long term arrangement with a regular partner for the wife while others prefer to call on the services of bulls as and when they are required. We recommend that, if possible, new couples pair up with a suitable bull who will be their mentor in the lifestyle.
How do you meet suitable men?
It cannot be overstated that this is not at all easy unless you are totally without any preferences at all! There are many men who will say and do anything to bed the wife, and are often completely unsuitable for the bull role. However, you shouldn't be put off as there are many well qualified men out there who would love to work with you to make all your fantasies come true. Take your time looking, be selective and don't be pressured into a meeting before you feel ready. A good bull will understand your concerns and be happy to have as many purely social meetings you feel you need before moving to the bedroom.
Registering on suitable swinger or contact sites is our recommendation, most have some kind of feedback system so you can tell those that are less likely to let you down. It can be problematic approaching acquaintances and inviting for sex. Though many people have found that this can work well, it does obviously need to be handled with care.
Presumably then the wife is very much in control?
Yes it is a key element of cuckoldry that the wife is dominant over her husband. It is implicit that her need for sex is the driving force. Of course the cuckold's role is also important, we would say pivotal, the wife and her lover will be mindful of his presence as they have sex.
Is it a turn on for the wife being observed by her husband?
Women for the most part do appreciate the reassurance provided by their husband's presence. There is also a recognition that the cuckold receives gratification from seeing his wife having sex with her lover. The wife often enjoys her husband witnessing her receive a level of sexual fulfilment he cannot provide.
Is it a turn on for the husband observing his wife?
For most men watching their wives have sex is the ultimate turn on and they can become extremely aroused. Even men with a history of erectile dysfunction may find themselves sporting a rock hard erection. Cuckolds describe masturbating whilst watching their wife with her lover as the ultimate turn on. However as a couple gain experience the wife can start to find her cuckold's self-pleasuring to be a distraction and to feel that his attention should be completely focussed on her pleasure and not his own.
On the other hand a cuckold can find watching to be too disturbing and prefer to wait patiently for his wife to return from a tryst with her lover. Deriving his pleasure from imagining what she is doing and looking forward to having her describe in detail everything that happened.
Does the husband have sex with his wife during a session?
For most experienced cuckold couples it is a basic rule that the cuckold is denied penetrative sex. However,inexperienced couples often feel a real need to have sex after the bull has left and this can be immensely reassuring and increase their marital bond, very important at time when their relationship is being tested. Though both partners will recognise that, after their bull, the sex they have together is unsatisfactory this will reinforce their commitment to cuckolding. Importantly the wife will feel that she has been forgiven and her cuckold that he has reclaimed his straying wife.
What exactly is 'cleaning'?
This is when the cuckold performs cunnilingus with his wife immediately after the bull has finished having sex with her. He will literally clean up the semen deposited by the bull. Of course even when the bull has used a condom the cuckold can still perform his cleaning duty. With the wife still in a high state of arousal it can be extremely pleasurable for her.
Cleaning duty is something most cuckolds look forward to and enjoy intensely whilst for the wife it's reassurance that her husband approves and forgives her extramarital sex.
A cuckold should remember that his wife will be in a high state of arousal after having intercourse with her bull and go gently with his tongue! Another plus is she may well achieve orgasm. Cleaning is an essential part of the experience for many couples. Cleaning may also be extended to the bull's penis if all agree.
What problems can occur when you meet a new man?
Well the first time with a new partner is always stressful and not conducive to good sex! That goes for all of us. Men can often fail to achieve erection with a new partner and this is not helped with hubby in the same room! Generally sympathy and patience are the best cure and sending hubby to make a cup of tea!
What do you look for when selecting a man?
It's in the nature of things that the wives are going to be primarily interested how well equipped their new lover is to provide good sex and a large penis is a decided advantage for a potential bull. However many women find it difficult to accept a large penis comfortably and prefer a more normal endowment. A great physique will do much to make up for lack of inches as will an understanding of cuckoldry and a couple's needs. As in life generally the ability to get on with people and put them at their ease along with a pleasant non pushy manner will reap benefits.
So the lady chooses the men?
Well it's her body! More importantly the basic principle of cuckoldry is that the wife's sexuality is dominant and she should therefore choose her bull.
What is the profile of a "typical" cuckold couple?
In our experience normally have an affluent lifestyle, no children at home, middle forties upwards. There is a marked tendency for the husband to be some years senior to his attractive wife and to consider his penis to be small. Possibly it goes without saying that the wife invariably has a very much higher sex drive than her spouse.