Frequently asked questions
What is a cuckold couple?
As you can see from the dictionary definition, traditionally a cuckold is a husband with a wife who is physically unfaithful to him, usually without his knowledge. However, in modern usage, it has come to mean the sexual fetish where the male partner allows the female to have sexual intercourse with another male whilst remaining faithful himself. Both partners receive gratification from this and it is sometimes referred to as the cuckold lifestyle.
The extent to which a couple incorporate cuckolding into their marriage is naturally their personal preference. It may range from occasional meetings with a man away from her husband through to a regular lover who visits the couple at their home.
Quite often a couple will progress into more serious cuckolding if they enjoy the lifestyle..
It is not a necessary element of cuckolding that the husband is present whilst his wife has sex, nor that he suffers humiliation. Nor is cuckolding necessarily interracial.
What is a hotwife?
A hotwife is the female half of a cuckold couple though some consider "hotwifing" to be the first step to a true cuckolding relationship. Hotwives are allowed by their husbands to meet other men on dates etc and have intercourse.
What is a bull?
The wife's lover, chosen to take over her husband's sexual role in their marriage. The term "bull" denotes his superior sexual prowess. Many people dislike the term and "lover", "boyfriend", "stud" and "guest male" are often used interchangeably.
A good bull will be a couple's guide and mentor into the world of cuckoldry and aid their development as a cuckold couple. Naturally he has his own motivations and enjoying the wife is probably top of the list but he will be mindful of the cuckold and his humiliating position. The amount and type of abuse the cuckold receives can range from none to extreme and is something a good bull will agree with the couple well before they reach the bedroom.
You won't be surprised that most bulls are extremely well equipped for their role but there are men who are normal size. Mental attitude is all important, the bull is normally expected to take charge of proceedings. Nobody wants a bull who needs to asks what to do!
Is it basically a MMF threesome?
Yes but with important differences, whereas normally the guest male might take an equal or subordinate role to the husband, in a cuckold setting the husband takes the subordinate role to the extent that he might have no involvement and certainly none unless asked.
How big a part does the humiliation of the cuckold play?
As much of a part as you decide to let it play but it is implicit that the cuckold is not providing the sex that his wife requires. She prefers her bull to her husband and often makes him watch as she receives the sex she craves. Some couples carry the cuckold's humiliation to extremes and for them it is an essential part of the cuckolding lifestyle. Others view the husband as enlightened for unselfishly allowing her to experience pleasure from a superior performer.
Humiliation of the cuckold, apart from verbal abuse, can involve forced feminisation - making him wear female clothes such as panties and stockings. Some cuckolds are made to wear chastity devices such as a plastic or metal cage around his penis to prevent any sexual use.
What involvement does the husband have in proceedings?
The non-participation of the husband is considered an essential element by some, even to the extent he may not be in the same room. Normally he keeps quiet and watches, only actively taking part if invited by the wife (not the other man). Though the cuckold will not penetrate allowing him to perform cunnilingus after the bull has finished is very popular, often referred to as "cleaning". Cuckolds are often allowed to masturbate while they watch their wives have sex, some wives will not even allow their husbands this relief! Generally the husband derives his pleasure from his wife's enjoyment. Picture taking for a lasting memento is also popular, as is making home movies!
What sort of men become bulls?
They tend to be very well endowed, highly competent sexual performers with a dominant streak. In our case, my wife likes very young fit men. We know couples that only meet men their own age and even a couple in their 20's who's preference is for men in their 50's. We feel a suitable man should have a basic understanding of cuckoldry most importantly.
They find the scenario of satisfying a demanding wife in front of an inadequate husband a turn-on. It isn't unusual for wives to become very attached indeed to their bulls. Sometimes bulls even move into the marital home and sleep in the marital bed.
Does it involve multiple partners?
Yes it can do.
How do you meet suitable men?
It must be stated that this is not at all easy unless you are totally without any preferences at all! There are many men who will say and do anything to bed the wife, often completely unsuitable for the bull role. However, you shouldn't be put off as there are many well qualified men out there who would love to work with you to make all your fantasies come true. Take your time looking, be selective and don't be pressured into a meeting before you feel ready. Good bulls will understand your concerns and be happy to have how ever many purely social meetings you feel you need before moving to the bedroom.
Registering on suitable swinger or contact sites is our recommendation, most have some kind of feedback system so you can tell those that are less likely to let you down. It can be problematic approaching acquaintances and inviting for sex. Though many people have found this to work well, it does obviously need to be handled with care.
Presumably then the wife is very much in control?
Yes it is a key element of cuckoldry that the wife is dominant over the husband. She and her bull will decide what happens during a session. This is not to say that the cuckold's role is not important and the wife and her lover will be mindful of his presence as they have sex.
Is it a turn on for the wife being observed by her husband?
In my case very much so! I often have one-to-one meetings with my bull but they are never as enjoyable as sharing the experience with my husband. - Chrissie
Is it a turn on for the husband observing his wife?
For many men watching their wives have sex is the ultimate turn on but others get a greater arousal from just knowing she is with her lover and not knowing what they are doing together.
Does the husband have sex with his wife during a session?
For strict cuckold couples it is a basic rule that the cuckold is denied. However some couples enjoy the concept of the cuckold reclaiming his wife after the Bull has taken his pleasure.
What problems can occur when you meet a new man?
Well the first time with a new partner is always stressful and not conducive to good sex! That goes for all of us. Men can often fail to achieve erection with a new partner and this is not helped with hubby in the same room! Generally sympathy and patience are the best cure and sending hubby to make a cup of tea!
What do you look for when selecting a man?
It's in the nature of things that the wives are going to be primarily interested how well equipped their new lover is to provide good sex and a large penis is a decided advantage for a potential bull. However many women find it difficult to accept a large penis comfortably and prefer a more normal endowment. A great physique will do much to make up for lack of inches as will an understanding of cuckoldry and a couple's needs. As in life generally the ability to get on with people and put them at their ease along with a pleasant non pushy manner will reap benefits.
So the lady chooses the men?
Well it's her body! More importantly the basic principle of cuckoldry is that the wife's sexuality is dominant and she should therefore choose her bull.
What is the profile of a "typical" cuckold couple?
In our experience normally have an affluent lifestyle, no children at home, middle forties upwards. There is a marked tendency for the husband to be some years senior to his attractive wife and to have a small penis. Possibly it goes without saying that the wife invariably has a very much higher sex drive than her spouse.