Frequently asked questions

What is a cuckold couple?

As you can see from the dictionary definition, the traditional meaning of cuckold is a husband whose wife is physically unfaithful to him, usually without his knowledge. However, in recent times at least, it has come to mean the sexual fetish where the male partner allows the female to have sexual intercourse with other males whilst he remains faithful. Both partners receive gratification from this and it is often referred to as the cuckold lifestyle.

It is not a necessary element of cuckolding that the husband is present whilst his wife has sex, nor that he suffers humiliation. Nor is cuckolding necessarily interracial.

What is a hotwife?

A hotwife is the female half of a cuckold couple though some consider "hotwifing" to be cuckolding without the husband suffering humiliation such as wearing female clothes etc, see below.

Why the term bull?

The wife's lover, chosen to take over her husband's sexual role, is often referred to as her "bull" denoting his superior sexual prowess. Many people dislike the term and "lover", "boyfriend", "stud" and "guest male" can be used interchangeably.

Is it basically a MMF threesome?

Yes but with important differences, whereas normally the guest male might take an equal or subordinate role to the husband, in a cuckold setting the husband takes the subordinate role to the extent that he might have no involvement and certainly none unless asked.

How big a part does the humiliation of the husband play?

As much of a part as you decide to let it play but it is implicit that the husband is not providing the sex that his wife requires. She prefers her bull to her husband and often makes him watch as she receives the sex she craves. Some couples carry the husband's humiliation to extremes and for them it is an essential part of the cuckolding lifestyle. Others view the husband as enlightened for unselfishly allowing her to experience pleasure from a superior performer.

Humiliation of the husband, apart from verbal abuse, can involve forced feminisation - making him wear female clothes such as panties and stockings. Some husbands are made to wear chastity devices such as a plastic or metal cage around his penis to prevent its sexual use.

What involvement does the husband have in proceedings?

The non-participation of the husband is considered an essential element by some couples even to the extent he may not be in the same room. Normally he keeps quiet and watches, only actively taking part if invited by the wife (not the other man). My husband for instance will normally masturbate which I find a terrific turn-on. Some wives will not even allow their husbands this relief! Generally the husband derives his pleasure from his wife's enjoyment. Picture taking for a lasting memento is also popular. Some couples (including us) like to make home movies!

What sort of men become bulls?

They tend to be well well endowed, highly competent sexual performers with a dominant streak. In our case, my wife likes very young fit men. We know couples that only meet men their own age and even a couple in their 20's who's preference is for men in their 50's. We feel a suitable man should have a basic understanding of cuckoldry most importantly.

They find the scenario of satisfying a demanding wife in front of an inadequate husband a turn-on. It isn't unusual for wives to become very attached indeed to their bulls. We know of some that have even moved into the marital home - including my own!

Does it involve multiple partners?

Yes it can do.

How do you meet suitable men?

Registering on suitable swinger or contact sites is the best way we find. It can be problematic approaching acquaintances and inviting for sex. Though we did meet a man socially and progress to the bedroom, meeting him for 8 months or so afterwards. A large part of my enjoyment comes from spending a lot of time and effort to select my ideal bull. This is generally true of all ladies seeking the services of a bull. -Chrissie

Presumably then the wife is very much in control?

Yes it is a key element of cuckoldry that the wife is dominant. I decide what we do in a session, I have a very clear idea what my husband enjoys seeing me do, positions etc, and I try to make it as enjoyable for him as I can. - Chrissie

Is it a turn on for the wife being observed by her husband?

In my case very much so! I often have one-to-one meetings with my bull but they are never as enjoyable as sharing the experience with my husband. - Chrissie

Is it a turn on for the husband observing his wife?

For many men watching their wives have sex is the ultimate turn on but others get a greater arousal from just knowing she is with her lover and not knowing exactly what the lovers are doing.

Does the husband have sex with his wife during a session?

Well for a lot of cuckold couples it is a big no no. In our case, although it is clearly understood he would never ask, I do on occasion feel the need to have my husband's penis inside me to finish off. We both consider it a more satisfying session (from the cuckolding viewpoint) if he does not but sometimes we just get carried away! - Chrissie

What about later?

Yes we always discuss a session in detail later when we are alone. What was good, what was not so good. - Chrissie

What problems can occur when you meet a new man?

Well the first time with a new partner is always stressful and not conducive to good sex! That goes for all of us. Men can often fail to achieve erection with a new partner and this is not helped with hubby in the same room! Generally sympathy and patience are the best cure and sending hubby to make a cup of tea! - Chrissie

What do you look for when selecting a man?

Well it has to be said that a big penis is a decided advantage but there are other considerations. For example the largest penis I have taken is over 10 inches and the smallest just 5 (he was wonderful too girls!). A pleasant non pushy manner and a great physique are all important too, as is an understanding of cuckoldry. - Chrissie

So the lady chooses the men?

Yes I have the final say, after all it's my vagina! More importantly the basic principle of cuckoldry is that the wife's sexuality is dominant and she should therefore choose her bull.

What is the profile of a "typical" cuckold couple?

In our experience normally have an affluent lifestyle, no children at home, middle forties upwards. There is a marked tendency for the husband to be some years senior to his attractive wife and to have a small penis. Possibly it goes without saying that the wife invariably has a very much higher sex drive than her spouse.